torsdag, december 11, 2008

My place in the pack

Ten years ago or so, I bought a dog, or should I say -I was sold a pup! She was six months old and seemed adorable. And normal. Maybe it was a bit dark in that parking lot (ha ha) for it turned out she was not NEAR well in the mental department.
The dog was (is!) a bundle of nerves and irrational fears. Is she a genetically modified product of puppy farming? I shall never know. Two professional dog trainers and an animal behaviourist and my own efforts have failed to change her highly strung nature.
She is an intelligent dog however and with small rewards and encouragement she can learn...anything! (The "small rewards" have made her put on a little weight.)
But she is often ill with stress related ailments which means we often go to the vet.

Here is one such visit:
Vet-"Could you lift your dog up on the table"
Me-"Eh..she is a bit heavy and I have a bad back...?"
Vet-"I would like to have her on the table"
I lift the struggling and howling dog on to the table. She has to be muzzled.
Vet-"Now LOOK at the dog"
Me- "eh..? Yeah..?"
Vet- "Tell me what you see! Would you say she is overweight?"
Me- "No...only a tiny bit"
Vet-"HOW do you expect your dog to carry that weight on those thin legs?"

The vet has a Socratic questioning style. I don't like it! My dog is very slightly overweight for a good cause which is to put manners on her by rewarding good behaviour. And anyway my dog's weight is supported by FOUR legs!
I say nothing to the vet because I respect authority and a white coat.
Unlike my dog I know my place in the pack.

onsdag, december 03, 2008

scary dog, eisode 3

When my dog was a young, slim thing my two Sons used to walk her. One day a pitbull shot out of the park (like a bat out of hell) after them and grabbed our dog by the neck. There was no warning, no foreplay, just straight for the neck. It dragged our dog on to the road and held our dog (by the neck) until she stopped struggling.
A woman motorist stepped out of her car,took stock of the situation, ran to a house, explained the situation, asked for a bucket of water, got the bucket and poured it over the pitbull's head. The pitbull let go of our dog and attacked Son number one. When the owner tried to stop the attack she got bitten herself.
The injuries were: a deep puncture wound to the neck of our dog and many teeth marks to my Son's hands and tattered nerves all around.
This attack was reported to the Guards (who already knew because the woman motorist had been in). We were told to contact the Dog Warden.The Dog Warden told us that nothing could be done until we got the name and address of the dog and its owner.
So take note: If you survive a dog attack- don't forget to ask for name, address and date of birth of the pitbull.
For it is always a pitbull, I don't care what you say.

måndag, december 01, 2008

scary dog, episode 2

A good while back, when my highly strung nervous dog was a small highly strung pup, we were ambushed by a big Alsatian. The Alsatian chased and chased and chased my terrified pup until she could run no more.
"PLEASE call your dog in, PLEASE put your dog on a leash", I kept calling to the Alsatian' s slackjawed master. Nothing doing. No reaction.
At this point the Alsatian was taking great big leaps in the air and landing on top of my pup - seemingly with the intention of breaking the pups back? My pup whimpered and whined and cried. I tried to step in between the Alsatian and the pup. The Alsatian kept circling us and when it lept at us I put my foot up to try and stop it. I was hopping around on one leg and holding the other leg out at an angle, hoping that the dog would not bite through my boot.
At this point the Alsatian's master came to life; "Are you effing kicking my dog you effing ... I'll effing kill you you effing..."
Argue with that? Reader, I nearly died.