fredag, augusti 24, 2012

Mother of Dog

 I quote from the Control of Dogs Act 1986:

"Owner" in relation to a dog includes the occupier of any premises where the the dog is kept or permitted to live or remain at any particular time unless such occupier proves to the contrary. Provided always that where there is more than one dwelling in any house, the occupier of the dwelling in which the dog is kept, or is permitted to live or remain, shall, until the contrary is proved, be presumed to be the owner.

Is that perfectly clear? Is that chilling enough? I am the dog's owner. The dog is my property. I own the piece of walking, barking fluff at the end of the lead.

The Swedes have the perfect words for the special relationship between man/woman and dog. Or rather the role the human has in this relationship. The words are  "Matte" (fem.) or "Husse" (masc.) Husse is derived from "husbonde" and "Matte" from "matmor" (matmoder). The words describe somebody who provides food and shelter, care, warmth, comfort and affection.

When I look for a translation in my dictionary I find "Master" and "Mistress". Not the same thing at all. A "Master" indicates overpowering bossiness rather than caring and loving. And "Mistress"?....a bit too much loving perhaps? Too medieval?

M. in the dog park calls me the dogs "Mum". "Mum"?! Mother?  The very idea of giving birth to a dog...please!

No, only the Swedes have the word for it. I am "Matte".

tisdag, augusti 14, 2012

Dog Days

I don't know if I am cut out for dog ownership. A person accompanied by a dog attracts attention. Mostly of a welcome and friendly kind. But sometimes a dog triggers aggression from a certain kind of individual.
The other day my dog was sniffing a lamp post. I hear an angry voice.
-I hope you are PICKING UP after that dog!
-I am! I say and to demonstrate that my promise is not just empty words I put my hand in my pocket and show him the black plastic bag that I will use. I am both willing and able to do a clean up. Any time. I feel smug. I smile.
The elderly man glares at me.
- The place is a MESS!!!!

This is when I get an attack of mixed feelings. Despair is one. Also anger. Mostly murderous anger. I want to shout: "YOU are a MESS, you stupid old ********!!!!!"

But I don't. I walk away. My day is ruined.

lördag, augusti 04, 2012

In the dog park

Honestly, some people! There is a certain type of individual who will see a group of fifteen dogs  frolicking and having fun in the park, off lead. And they will say to themselves- aha, there is no sign saying designated for dogs only. I will take a short cut, it will save me at least ...oh, I don't know..30 seconds?  I have a perfect Right and Entitlement as a Citizen born and bred to go in over there. I will get my shoes soaked for the grass seems to be wet and up to my ankles, also I am terrified of dogs, but here goes.
They puff out their chest and walk stiffly because their muscles are tense already. Their eyes are are wide open and bulging from fear. Their faces are set in indignation.
I can't say for certain but they probably also put out a scent of fear- aggression because one of the dogs will stop in their tracks and look around. Then that dog will make a bee-line for the individual and bark, bark, bark.

Last week it was my dog giving the individual a good barking over.  While I was trying to stay calm and get a grip on the the scruff of my cursed dog and muttering sorry, sorry, sorry,  the individual started barking at me. Sorry for the noise but the dog wont harm you, I whispered. The individual roared: I DON"T CARE!!  IT IS INTIMIDATING!!!!!

A roller-coaster ride is "intimidating" but you have to pay for it. The dog park is free.